Comfort becomes a killer after a while which is why you sit around wondering what’s so wrong in your life. There’s literally nothing wrong except the fact that you’re too comfortable. You’ve found this sense of satisfaction in simply waking up carrying out the same exact schedule every… single… day. I feel like some of that comes from many of us being told that a job is what makes ends meet. But what about your happiness? What about being more than just someone’s employee? And that is where titles begin to play a role in our lives.
One of the biggest – and most important – titles for many of us is husband and wife. But what happens when your partner is okay with being boyfriend and girlfriend and nothing more? What do you do from that point on because you know not only do you want, but I’m sure you feel you deserve to be someone’s wife? This is where your comfort comes into play. If you allow yourself to stay within your comfort zone, you may never get that ring. However, if you decide that you want more and are confident in your decision you can find someone else that truly loves you and wants more than a girlfriend. When you feel like it’s okay to want more for yourself, THAT’S WHEN YOU GET MORE. You shouldn’t have to spend 20 some odd years with someone thinking that because you stayed through all the hard times that the day is coming where he’s on bended knee asking, “Will you marry me?” Which takes me to parents and their children.
I am a firm believer that your parents set the tone for who you are, how you treat others and what you accept. Yet, there are plenty parents who will never own that they fucked you up as a child which is why you’re so fucked up. I see so many parents overuse their authority – YEAH, I SAID IT – that they don’t even realize the issues with their kid started with them. All I ever hear are things like, “I did everything in my power to get you on the right path” and “It’s not my fault you accepted that” and “I’m not one of your little friends”. I get it, you feel like you should be recognized for what you did for your child, but what about what you didn’t do? The whole parents not being your friend was and is still something a lot of people I know struggle with. My dad would say how he isn’t a friend to my siblings and I friend, but I still feel like he is one when I need him to be. My mom has always been very open and transparent with us. A lot of people don’t have that though and I could tell who didn’t by their opinion that I disrespect my parents. I used to get so offended by that comment alone that I called my parents nonstop going off about it. They had to make me realize that everyone can’t talk to their parents let alone even care for their parents. And that made me question why are parents so hellbent on not being a friend to their children?
I know people will say that I’m a young parent and I don’t know anything, but that doesn’t bother me. I am young but I’m still a parent and I do believe that I should be more to my children than just their mother. I apologize to my children when I feel I’m too hard on them or argue in front of them or don’t show them enough attention. I can’t understand why a parent wouldn’t want to be their child’s friend TOO. I understand you wanting respect as a parent however if your child already respects you as such, they’ll know how to respect you as their friend too. You have to show them what a friend is so that you won’t have to worry about others taking advantage of them once that time comes. They’ll still have questions but they’ll be somewhat prepared. We already consider some of our friends family anyway so why not let it start with us?
Those friends we consider family are usually the ones who have been around for years and/or have shown the most loyalty. These are the ones that grew out of being called “friend” and instead “brother” or “sister”. They wanted to be more than their title which is exactly why they became part of the family. Blood isn’t the only thing that makes you family. Just like godparents, they’re usually family or close friends we consider family – like I just said. And although most godparents aren’t parents the love they show children, especially yours, is what made you choose them. They went beyond their original title of a friend, to family, to a godparent.
Too much time is spent on the titles we’re given by nature and not enough time on the titles we need to nurture. We have to learn to be more than who we’re told to be because it could make us better people. It could show us parts of ourselves we never knew we had or thought others wouldn’t accept. You’d be surprised who you’re accepted as and how long someone has been waiting on you to be that person for them – or someone else.