All my life I’ve listened to people tell me, “Don’t give up”, yet I found myself doing just that a few days ago. I’ve always concerned myself with things I have no control over, and I felt a need to finally change that. I’ve had to overcome many different obstacles in the last few weeks which left me feeling trapped. I kept hearing this little voice say, “Nah don’t give up” while a louder voice was saying, “It’s time to let go”. It was tough to make a decision because I felt like I had to stay involved in these situations. And within a split second I sat on my steps, held my head up with my eyes closed, feet together, hands wrapped together then I said, “I give up”.
… BUT NOT ON MYSELF
I had been dealing with situations that didn’t deserve my time let alone my energy. And although I regret even allowing myself to feel like I owed anybody anything, I still learned valuable lessons. Has anyone ever said something to you along the lines of, “Stop telling your business to everybody because they’ll use it against you”? Well, I’ve been told that my whole life, but it hasn’t stopped me. Hell, look at the things I write in my blog about my personal life. I’ve had so many things I’ve confided in people with thrown in my face that it’s ridiculous, but it doesn’t make me mad. Why? BECAUSE IT’S WHAT I CHOOSE TO TELL. I have been very open about damn near everything in my life because I feel like it’s the only way anyone will get to know me. I know how shit goes once people get mad, so it comes as no surprise to me which is why I leave things alone once you decide to hit below the belt. So, regardless of how I feel, the situation ends there for me because I can’t and won’t do the same. There are certain things you just don’t do, and I’ll never not feel that way.
Through the negative there has been many positives including a spark in one of my businesses. I can’t put my finger on what it is, but I noticed when I let go things began to improve. I haven’t gotten this many orders since I started, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
I feel like I’ve been on this never-ending rollercoaster and I had to get off so that I could preserve my peace. I always find myself changing something about me to make others happy and that ends now. I don’t control the feelings of others so trying to is no longer on my agenda. People are going to feel how they do regardless of what I say or do. They are going to believe what they want regardless of what I say or do. They are going to be who they are regardless of what I say or do. With that being said I’m done pleading my case when it comes to my character. People are going to try to destroy you, your only job is to ignore it and keep doing you because they’re going to believe what they want, no matter how many conversations y’all have.
There comes a time in your life when you have to stop blaming everyone around you and look at yourself. I’d rather take the blame for all the wrong in my life in place of trying to force someone to take that blame for me. SHIT HAPPENS, YOU DEAL WITH IT – OR DON’T – MOVE ON AND TOSS WHAT YOU LEARNED IN YOUR BAG OF LESSONS. Things change when you do so you ultimately control what you allow to get to you. It doesn’t matter what anyone says or does because your reaction is what matters. If you decide to stick yourself in the same space, then you’ll never move on. Life goes on and things get better so act like it. Don’t drown yourself in unnecessary stress over things you cannot change. IGNORE IT. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through, you’ll get through it. Life has a way of revealing the truth to us in the harshest ways sometimes. And constantly worrying about that situation will do you no good.