With 2019 rapidly approaching I decided to make a few changes before the New Year. It’s not something I usually do however nothing about my life has been the usual – my usual – for the last year. The remainder of this year will be the introduction of life’s next chapter for my family and I. We will not be spending the holidays – well Christmas and New Years – with our families and friends. Instead, we will be spending them in our first home together. And we’ve got six days until it’s time to officially move.
How am I feeling about the move you ask? I honestly couldn’t be happier because this is not only the change, but the push I’ve been needing. However, I’m a little nervous because we won’t have any friends or family nearby to help with anything. This move will allow my husband and I the independence and freedoms we’ve been longing for. Preparing for this move has been truly hectic this last week and I could seriously use a break. I’ve been extremely overwhelmed from wondering what time the movers are actually coming and what they can take because all they said was between 8AM and 5PM. What day we’ll be moving the rest of our belongings from our old home so they can be packed up and moved. And debating what we’re taking on our flight because we can take more than what we thought we could now. Yet, everyone’s concern is when they “gone see the kids” instead of “do you guys need help with anything?”.
Mid 2017 up until now, life has been so miserable for me and that’s part of why I’m impatiently waiting for Monday, December 3, 2018 – moving day. I thought so much changed between certain people and I until we were back in each others space. I’ve struggled with the lack of support from family and friends. I’ve had “friends” show their true colors and family neglect my feelings which leaves me wondering do I express how I feel AGAIN or simply cut them off at this point? I’ve found myself ready to give up on numerous occasions, but I am so close to a new start. I can’t tell you how I’m still walking with my head held high, but I am.
Being around the same people for as long as I have has taken a toll on my mental. Being around the same area for as long as I have has taken a toll on my mental. I feel like I haven’t seen the world or lived my life because I’ve become accustomed to the same people, places, and things. And if I’m honest the majority do more hurt than good for me, but I chose to stick around. And that is why I’ve made some changes aside from just moving before the New Year.
Changes I’ve Made So Far
- I’ve created new social platforms because I felt like my old ones reflected too much of the negativity I felt.
- I’ve learned to deal with certain people and their negative, unnecessary comments by completely ignoring them now.
- I’ve stopped feeling obligated to make myself uncomfortable in order to make others comfortable.
- I unfollow and block anyone with no hesitation.
- I’m treating my mental better so that I am not waking up and going to sleep with headaches every single day.
- Eating a whole lot more.
- I’m not reaching out to anyone just because I haven’t heard from them anymore. The phone works both ways which I need to stop acting like I don’t know.
I’m hoping and praying for the best for my family and I with this new start. We need it, we deserve it, and we’re getting ready for it. I’ve spent so long depending on others that they’ve used it as a weakness against me which is where majority of the disrespect comes from. I have no intentions to continue being who I was because I shouldn’t have allowed it to begin with. Now, I’ll get to say “this is my house and I can do what I want” – since people see that as reason to be a miserable, disrespectful person – and not feel obligated to answer the phone, or text back, or go anywhere, or communicate with those I don’t want to at all. I have such high hopes for my family and myself – because I’ve been neglecting me. Hopefully I’ll write about more positivity and changes that have done more good than bad/hurt for me come next year.