DON’T ALLOW ANYONE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU AIN’T BEAUTIFUL. Yeah, I said “ain’t”. You are beautiful inside and out and baby your melanin damn sure makes you shine. We’re taught that how we look has nothing to do with who we are, but what about when the way you look affects who you are? Well, that’s what happened to this black girl. Until recently I hated my skin to the point that I wanted to be lighter because that’s what got people’s attention. Crushes I had liked lighter girls, when I was cheated on it was with lighter girls (except one), and overall people would praise lighter skin. Then, people began the light skin versus dark skin phase as if we’re not all black either way. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has had insecurities about her skin, but the purpose of this is to stop that. Darker skin of any shade was not praised let alone thought to be beautiful until now. And there are still a few haters here and there, but they’ll get with the program eventually.
“Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first” and “No one is going to love you if you don’t love yourself” are two quotes I now live by. They help me remember why I felt how I did and why I no longer do. I stopped waiting for someone to validate my beauty when they couldn’t even validate themselves. My focus was all wrong and that was because I didn’t know my black was and is beautiful. I had to teach myself to not only like but love me and it made all the difference once I started. I mean think about it from the colors that look good with and on our skin, the versatility of our hair, and to get technical those who wish they had certain features like us. When you spend too much time overthinking and wanting to be liked, you completely bypass the fact that there are people – not just someone – who like you for more than your looks. We love hard, we look good in any color really, “black don’t crack”, we do what they say we can’t, we come in hella shades, we have what they want – style, features, confidence, etc. The list goes on girl do I really need to continue?
However, there are issues we face daily as a whole and the biggest one comes from us …. WE DON’T SUPPORT EACH OTHER. We’re our biggest critics and it’s sad that it seems like we can’t stick together for anything. Some of us aren’t willing to come together because someone we don’t like will be there – even though they’re not the focus of the event. Some of us judge by assuming “she think she so cute” by the confidence a woman shows while others judge by assuming “she don’t care about herself” by the stress a woman wears – but we never stop to ask her if she’s okay either. Some of us only hang with certain people because those are the ones who won’t stop us from refraining from the foolery we shouldn’t entertain. We, “well can I get a discount cause we know each other”, (each other) to death instead of simply paying the prices as everyone else does. Asking for a discount isn’t support no matter how you look at it. She made those prices because that’s her worth and she’s probably cheating herself already by not charging what she should. I always hear, “I don’t have a problem with her”, but you won’t go around her, resolve anything with her, and still talk about her. If you don’t want to support her for whatever reason, personal or not, then don’t. But don’t tear her down and slander her name to the rest of the world because of the hate YOU secretly have for her.
The world already wants to break us in every way possible and we need to stop helping them. We’re dying and facing near death experiences because we don’t get the proper medical care for and during child birth and in general. Which is now a known and more talked about fact.SOME of our own men prefer other races over us and bash us terribly – it’s like they forget their mother is black. (Some of) Our pay in the work force is completely different from others and we’re all considered to be “loud and ghetto”, just to name a few. We can come together at funerals, when someone has to nearly force us to talk to one another, when we see another struggling and feel bad for them, etc. Then, and sometimes only then, is when we realize how stupid it was to not move on and how much time has been wasted being upset. Why does it take heartache and struggle to bring us together though? Think about it this way, if you can be a shoulder for her to cry on, the person to help her out of her struggle, the one who showed up when no one else did even though you’re mad at her, were you ever really mad at her? I know all too well that everything isn’t forgivable however if you can say “its not that deep” then support her.
I KNOW THIS POST WON’T MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE, BUT WE’RE ALL WE GOT SO WHEN ARE WE GOING TO START ACTING LIKE IT?
Here are a few businesses owned by Black Women:
- THE BUTTERLAND (Handmade all natural hair and skin care products)
Location: Prince George’s County, MD
- Chasity (Streets Hottest Waist Beader)
- Takia Marie (Photography)
Location: Ashburn, VA (services the DMV area and also travel)